i have been believing (and doubting) in the god most high - the creator/redeemer of the universe, the god of israel, of scripture - since i was a small child. since i am over 40, this amounts to several decades of deep intellectual wrestles and inexplicably miraculous experiences. i am a fiction writer and a scriptwriter, a storyteller not a theologian, and my favorite way to conceptualize the impossible idea of god is within the stories of cs lewis, jr tolkein, madeleine l’engle and others. i post here, uncertain as to whether i belong in this conversation, being an artist not a theologian, but am rather desperate to have someone to walk with in the questions i feel the “church” has told me not to ask.